little miss reverse

A journey from ME/CFS to health using Reverse Therapy and Lightning Process

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

5 weeks clear

Still no symptoms. I've been so busy too. I'm operating at the top end of my energy bracket at the moment and I'm starting to feel quite tired, but I'm good. I know I need to take it down a peg or two, so I'm not going to my dance class tonight.

Things keep feeling slightly different. I keep waiting to reach my limit...but I'm only just getting there after just over 2 weeks of doing something every day. I've done so much, I can hardly believe it's my life, not someone elses. Yesterday, I was on duty at the gallery for 2 hours in the morning, then I went to work for 2 hours in the afternoon and in the evening I went to my Spanish Class for 2 hours. I went to work today too.

Sleep is getting more and more like normal. I sleep for 8 or 9 hours straight through and even if I've been really tired, I feel refreshed from sleep the next day. Sometimes I'm still a bit tired in the morning, but I'm so far away from the fatigue I used to get, it's unbelievable.

There's not much to write about in terms of how I'm applying Reverse Therapy to my life. It seems to be part of who I am now and is obviously working a treat.

Anyway, I am tired, so I need to go and get away from this computer for a while, before I fry my brain.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

4 weeks clear

I haven't had any chemical memories or fatigue to contend with since the 25th May - that's 4 whole weeks! Chemical memories and fatigue are the only remaining remnants of anything that connects me to M.E.

The only thing remaining when I don't have these things, is low stamina that I am building up slowly and the normal tiredness that goes with it. Anybody having had a long term illness will have low stamina that they need to build up slowly, so I do feel like I've nearly cracked it.

I've had a lot of chemical memories to deal with over the last 4 months resulting in an increase in fatigue, but it seems I have cleared the decks quite a lot now and my body is starting to behave normally on a week-to-week basis rather than for a stretch of a few days at a time.

I'm sure something will pop up at some time in the future. I'm hoping to drive to Plymouth in a week or so, which is a two and a half hour journey, so maybe that will trigger something, or it might be something out of the blue like last time. Anyway, I know how to deal with them quickly these days, so I'm not worried about it. exciting!

Saturday, June 10, 2006


I started my intensive Spanish course last week at evening class. It's 2 nights per week for 2 hours and one of those is on a day when I work.

Blimey, talk about brain ache! It's really difficult getting the old grey matter working like this. My photography course was very different because you could learn it drip by drip and it was mostly very practical. This is purely brain, brain, brain and it hurts! I'm thoroughly enjoying it though.

Something interesting is occuring out of all this... Usually when I do lots of mental activity, I need to balance it up with some physical activity or else I get tension building. I haven't been swimming much lately, or walking and I've missed my dance class for the last 3 weeks, but I haven't had a build up of tension at all.

I've got to the point of feeling completely tired out (not fatigued though) and then slept like a log and felt fine the next day. The tiredness hasn't felt so deep lately, it feels slightly different, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

My boyfriend has gone to Spain for 3 weeks and I'm pining for him a bit. I'm aware that I don't want to just fill up my time to avoid the whole 'missing him' bit as that will just bury the emotions for them to pop up later. So I've felt a bit sad and just thought, 'that's ok'.

I just reckon that everytime a chemical memory from the past arises and you deal with it, your body takes another step up. That has to be it, nothing else has changed in the last few weeks.

So, I've worked 6 hours this week, with my challenging little friend and I've also done 4 hours of study in the classroom and another 1 outside. I went swimming in a lake yesterday, I'm just off out for a walk and then I'm over to a friend's for a bbq tonight.

Estoy estupendo!

Friday, June 02, 2006

Sometimes I feel SO close to full recovery

On days when I'm doing things that are not work related, I feel so very close to being fully recovered and by that I mean completely back to normal.

Yesterday I went to the Bath and West Show. I drove there in my car, which took about an hour and 15 mins as I got a bit lost. I spent 7 hours at the show walking around and shot about 150 photographs of sheep (on a bit of a sheep thing at the minute!). Photography is quite tiring as I get intensely focused on what I'm doing and I did about 3 hours of that. I walked miles and even stopped at the 'village green' for a beer.

When the show closed, I had my tea in a field, sunbathed for a bit and then drove home which took me an hour.

I was out for 9 hours and today my feet are sore, my legs ache very slightly and I feel a little bit tired, but I reckon anybody would feel the same after a day like I had yesterday.

I've got another photography shoot today, but then I'm going to chill out in the garden with a book.

On days like these, I feel so well I consider myself to be pretty much recovered. Shame I have days where my stamina is still so low, but it will come.