little miss reverse

A journey from ME/CFS to health using Reverse Therapy and Lightning Process

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Mister Tones...

...wondered why I haven't posted for a while. I've been busy and I've also had an increase in symptoms, which all sounds a bit bad, but it's just a rather large blip I think and hope.

After my last post, I went to hell-on-earth, oh I mean V festival. I'd been there an hour and said, I'm never coming here again. We had to walk about a mile and a half to the campsite carrying all of our camping gear, then we had problems getting out wristbands, then there wasn't enough camping space, then there was torrential rain. That was all before we even got onto the festival site. Then there were the horrid chavs chucking pints of urine into the air, the lack of toilets, the lack of water pipes, the rubbish sound systems and the general feeling of being down the city centre at 2 am on a Saturday night. Some of the music was great, but I was so exhausted by it all I felt like crying. Not a symptom in sight though. It's wierd, I cope brilliantly with any kind of physical stress you want to throw at me these days and even though I was physically exhausted, it only took me a good night's sleep to bounce back.

Since then, I've had a few things that have set of symptoms. Firstly I'm moving in with my boyfriend in 2 weeks time and I'm really not coping with the emotional turmoil of the whole thing. My initial trigger was connected to a relationship and moving in with him is setting off a whole load of chemical memories and general anxiety. I'm finding it incredibly difficult to deal with it which is setting off symptoms.

On top of that, I had a virus or a big ME flare up, a bit unsure about which it was. My BF caught something that was halfway between a cold and flu. I was with him when we were in the room with the person who he caught if from and we both said afterwards, bet we catch it. Anyway, a week later BF comes down with it, then the next day, I'm floored too. The thing is, I didn't get any sneezes, mucus, coughing, or any 'cold' symptoms at all. I had a banging head and felt fluey and really weak. Sound familiar? I'm not really sure if my body was fighting off the virus which caused an ME flare up, or what. It took me over a week to get back to normal, but then I have been completely back to normal.

Just to chuck something else onto the fire, I went to the dentist last week for the first time in 5 years. I'm phobic so have avoided going whilst ill as didn't think I could cope with the adrenaline. I got all worked up last week and ended up feeling physically worn out and a little bit fatigued too. I'm looking forward to Monday...got to back for the filling and hygeine appointment. I'm already stressed out as it is about the other stuff.

At this moment, I've just come home from work and I have tension and a bit of fatigue, which are the symptoms that I am left with these days. But, I worked 6 hours today, I normally work 4. I'll be in work for 6 hours tomorrow too. I've just got back from 5 days in Ireland, so I'm still able to do loads and even increase my activity when I'm experiencing symptoms. I just hate feeling so knotted up.

Generally I'm still on the up. I've had a lot more tension and fatigue over the last month and I don't think it will subside until I've moved in with my BF as I think that is the underlying stress factor. I am doing OK, but I am feeling frustrated and stuck.

After the experiences of the last month or so, I am convinced that my remaining problem is anxiety. I am symptom free as long as there's nothing particularly stressful going on, but that's not a long term solution. I want to try to have a baby next year and if anything is going to cause stress, then that will, so I need to find a way of dealing with the anxiety. I'm going to see if my old RT therapist might have some ideas, but I'm also toying with the idea of trying Lightning Process (www.lightningprocess.com) as it may help me.

Sorry for the long post and the even longer gap.

1 Comments:

At 5:31 pm, Blogger Little Miss Bristol said...

Yes that it wierd, but I can see it here anyway. Yeah, Glasto sounds great, might go next year. I'm a Big Chill girly myself.

Lovely to hear about your baby! Kind of scary, but you can't let fear rule your life.

The forum is linked from my homepage, but just incase its:

www.curecfs.com

There's a lovely bunch of people on there and so far we have had none of the in-fighting that I've seen on other forums. It's a cosy safe place amongst people who are trying to get well and quite often going against the grain of the ME community. No one will acuse you of not having ME, because you are trying a mind/body approach.

Miss B

 

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