little miss reverse

A journey from ME/CFS to health using Reverse Therapy and Lightning Process

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

hello symptoms

flippin ek, I got symptoms today. Only very mild fatigue - tension in my neck, headache, sore eyes and a general feeling of grating in my head, like everything needs a bit of oiling.

I feel like swearing a lot, sh**, bo******, f***! Hate it when I get symptoms after going so long without any, I wish it would all just go away now. I get it! OK! So stop flippin doing that now!

The reason for the symptoms is anxiety. I have been feeling a bit stressed about going to V festival this coming weekend as I am having trouble sorting out my disabled access to the disabled carpark and camping field, as I don't have a disabled ticket. I've been emailing all week without a response, I've phoned up the ticket agent and they just suggested I buy another ticket at a further cost of £120, but they don't have any left anyway. Grrr! It looks like I'm not going to be able to take my car on site, so I (my boyfriend probably) am going to have to carry my camping gear, which is stressing me out. There are lots of unknowns, so I am getting a bit anxious.

I spoke to my bf and we decided that if it's all too much we can just come home early, so I have given myself permission to leave at any point. I do want to go, but I don't want to have a stressful time.

Symptoms are mostly related to anxiety of future things and chemical memories related to past events these days. Thanks goodness I don't feel like that every day anymore, what a relief. Feeling well is such a blessing. Role on tommorrow and fingers crossed this horrid cloak of fatigue lifts.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

What can I tell you?...

I've been busy 7 out of the last 8 weekends. Exhibitions, camping trips, parental visits, weddings, friends to stay and festivals. Not only that, but I've been working on the weekdays inbetween too.

I've just come back from the Big Chill festival which, last year, was my first big adventure after being ill for 3 years. I was surprised at how much I managed last year, but this year, I'm more surprised at what I've been doing either side of the festival. Last year I had to rest up either side of the festival. This year I've worked up to the day before, then had one day off when I got back. Yesterday I went back to work and today we started to deliver a training programme on alcohol and drugs to a group of young people.

My stamina is still building slowly and I do wish I could push along a bit quicker, but I'm just going as fast as my body will allow. I can really wear myself out physically or mentally and all I need is a good nights sleep, which I usually get these days, then I'm back to normal.

I haven't had any more chemical memory related symptoms or any other symptoms since the day of my interview, so that's 4 weeks. Before that day I'd gone 7 weeks without any symptoms. So 11 weeks with only one episode of symptoms is pretty good going.

I have had to drop my swimming recently as I've not had enough energy, but once I'm in the swing of working 12 hours a week, I'll start it back up again. Whenever I increase my activity, something has to go on the backburner for a while. I'm hoping to start a Spanish class again in September too. Then in January the plan is to get a proper job of 18hrs or more.

Life's pretty good!