little miss reverse

A journey from ME/CFS to health using Reverse Therapy and Lightning Process

Thursday, July 13, 2006

It was symptoms

Well, I thought it might be, but yes I did have some symptoms yesterday. I used to call it fatigue as it was usually accompanied by feeling fatigued, but it was slightly different this time. I still had that horrible tension across my shoulders and up over my scalp, a headache, puffy eyes, and bit of a slow brain, but I still managed to go to work, go for an interview and then go dancing. I had to sit out of dancing towards the end, so my energy was lower than usual, but not fatigued as such.

I'm pretty sure it's the whole work thing. I do have some underlying anxiety about it but I believe it is chemical memory stuff. I've been more busy in the last month than I have been in the 4 years and at times have pushed my limits with no appearance of symptoms. This week, things have gone back to my normal level of activity, now that my Spanish class has finished and the exhibition is over, so activity wise, I'm doing less. I think for me, when I got ill, a lot of chemical memories were set up because I had just started a new job, then started to decline. A lot of the things that happened when I became ill, happened on the way to work or at work or about work, so work is a problematic area for my BM.

Again, I'm just going to have to give it a go like I did when I started temping and see what happens. I'm sure they will go away once BM sees that I am taking care of myself. I was quie clear at the interview about what I was willing to do and not willing to do to, so I just need to be assertive about my own needs.

Saying all that, I haven't got the job yet. Talk about confidence! I'm just calling it forward planning.


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