Chemical memory surprise!

I'd been plodding along with no symptoms, anxiety or chemical memory (CM) related stuff for more than 2 weeks when I received a bit of a CM surprise. I didn't see it coming, it completely threw me.

My BF and I had planned to go up North to visit his parents over the Bank Holiday weekend. I hadn't met them before and was really looking forward to it. My BF had met my parents last month and I had no fatigue around that, so hadn't expected anything to happen with meeting his.

I worked on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday then on Wednesday night I woke up in the middle of the night with my head full of stuff connected to a previous boyfriend's family and struggled to get back to sleep. On Thursday I was fatigued and felt a bit tearful.

I know that when I wake up in the night like this, the thing that is on my mind is a message from my bodymind (BM).

I was really close to the previous boyfriend's family and we spent a lot of time together. The breakup with this bf was the biggest trigger for my illness, so BM feels it has a lot to fear. When we split up I was devestated and part of that was the loss of his family. I had completely forgotten how I felt about that.

Obviously my BM was feeling threatened by me meeting my present boyfriend's family. When I thought about it, I felt anxiety bubbling up in my chest.

I dealt with it by telling my bf how I felt, talking to a friend about it, having a bit of a cry. I also talked to my BM saying that I am looking after myself now and if we have to deal with that kind of situation ever again, I will listen to BM and respond in a better way than I did that time.

On Friday I was fine, we drove up to the North East and had a lovely weekend with my BF's parents with no anxiety or fatigue.