little miss reverse

A journey from ME/CFS to health using Reverse Therapy and Lightning Process

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Chemical memory surprise!

I'd been plodding along with no symptoms, anxiety or chemical memory (CM) related stuff for more than 2 weeks when I received a bit of a CM surprise. I didn't see it coming, it completely threw me.

My BF and I had planned to go up North to visit his parents over the Bank Holiday weekend. I hadn't met them before and was really looking forward to it. My BF had met my parents last month and I had no fatigue around that, so hadn't expected anything to happen with meeting his.

I worked on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday then on Wednesday night I woke up in the middle of the night with my head full of stuff connected to a previous boyfriend's family and struggled to get back to sleep. On Thursday I was fatigued and felt a bit tearful.

I know that when I wake up in the night like this, the thing that is on my mind is a message from my bodymind (BM).

I was really close to the previous boyfriend's family and we spent a lot of time together. The breakup with this bf was the biggest trigger for my illness, so BM feels it has a lot to fear. When we split up I was devestated and part of that was the loss of his family. I had completely forgotten how I felt about that.

Obviously my BM was feeling threatened by me meeting my present boyfriend's family. When I thought about it, I felt anxiety bubbling up in my chest.

I dealt with it by telling my bf how I felt, talking to a friend about it, having a bit of a cry. I also talked to my BM saying that I am looking after myself now and if we have to deal with that kind of situation ever again, I will listen to BM and respond in a better way than I did that time.

On Friday I was fine, we drove up to the North East and had a lovely weekend with my BF's parents with no anxiety or fatigue.


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