I like driving in my car

Just hit another major milestone in my recovery! I drove from Bristol to Birmingham in my car on my own and drove back again a few days later. I haven't been able to do that for more than 4 years.

I did have some anxiety about driving up and I could feel the symptoms almost waiting in the wings to come and get me, but recently I've been able to overide them somehow. I think it's because I know that it is all based on anxiety and that they disappear with familiarity with the activity. So, even though I felt anxious and I did get a headache from driving, I just took it easy, stopped and had a long break when I needed to and stepped back from the anxious feelings. I used the radio to distract myself from the anxiety and when I felt it creeping in on me, I drove in the slow lane, turned up the music and sang at the top of my voice. It all worked a treat.

I was really tired when I arrived and had to lie down for half an hour, but then I was fine and there was no post-exertional stuff the next day.

On the way back, it was much easier. I didn't get a headache and I didn't need to stop and even went out to the pub in the evening. I still felt the anxiety trying to get a hold, but I knew I could do it, so just ignored it.

This is a really important step for me because for a while I have had chemical memories related to driving and this has shown me how the negative CM is being replaced with positive CM and the symptoms are disolving.