little miss reverse

A journey from ME/CFS to health using Reverse Therapy and Lightning Process

Thursday, April 20, 2006

The importance of headmind/bodymind alignment

I've just had some kind of dawning realisation that headmind (HM) plays a role in symptoms and it's not all about bodymind (BM).

I got so caught up in trying to listen to BM, that I didn't really hear it when my therapist told me about BM and HM coming into alignment and working together to rid you of symptoms.

Conflict between headmind and bodymind can cause symptoms. A good example of this for me was when I needed to challenge a friend on how she had treated me. My BM wanted me to tell her that I was not willing to tolerate that kind of behaviour and I was willing to do that, but my HM did not want to do that AT ALL. I was stuck in a place where whilst I was sticking with my HM's desire not to do anything, I was getting symptoms, but then when I did do what BM wanted, I got symptoms as well.

I was quite confused by this at the time because in RT theory, doing what BM wants should get rid of symptoms. It's not quite that straight forward in some situations.

I think that it is important to do what your BM wants whilst also doing something to reassure your HM in some situations. An example of that might be that you (your BM) desires to go to the cinema after not having been for 4 years. You feel that strong urge to go, but you also feel anxious "what if I get fatigued/wobbly/headache/intolerant to noise/any other symptoms when I'm there?". In order to reassure your HM you could give yourself permission to leave at any point and even pop out for a break/to go to the loo during the film, allowing you to do what your BM wants whilst providing your HM with some security.

My BF and I have been talking about moving in together which is fantastic and is really what my BM desires. BUT I've been having some anxiety about giving up my own home and all the "what ifs" about it not working out. Up until now, I would have been trying to work out which is HM and which is BM. Is the anxiety BM anxiety or is it HM anxiety? I don't really know which is which for sure, but what I do know is that there is some HM/BM conflict going on about this issue. I started to get fatigue on Tuesday of this week and this issue was buzzing around in my head. I'd also been really physically active. Pre RT I would have put the fatigue down to overdoing it physically, but I know it doesn't work like that now I'm applying RT.

On the Wednesday, I could feel the fatigue building. I still went to my dance class despite feeling fatigued (something I wouldn't have done pre-RT because it would have made fatigue worse). BM wanted to go dancing despite HM saying "what if you overdo it!" and "you've been really physical this week, you shouldn't do any more". When I got home I emailed my bf about the anxiety issues about us moving in together, not in a "what are you going to do about it" way, but in a "this is going on in my head" kind of way. I didn't even need a response from him, because on the Wednesday the fatigue had lifted and I did 2 hours of digging in the garden.

So you can be following what your heart (bodymind) desires and still be getting symptoms and be thinking "why isn't this RT working then?". It might be that there is a conflict between BM and HM. It is tough in some cases to get them to work together especially when you are opening yourself up in a vulnerable way or trying to learn to behave in a completely new and scary way.

For me a lot of these HM/BM battles are brought up by conflict, standing up for myself and about scary vulnerabilities in my relationship based on past baggage. I don't want any of these things to stop me from having the life I want, so I need to find ways of making sure that my HM and BM work together and not against each other.


At 1:37 am, Blogger Maryanne said...

I am very interested in your trying to resolve HM (headmind) and BM (Bodymind). I live in California and only just read The Reverse Therapy Approach last Thursday. Since then I've been trying to figure it out. I have had a terrible case of fibromyalgia for many years. I came to realize the last few days I have to find some way to get my HM and BM together -- get them in sync. It's confusing to me because some symptoms and feelings are hard to figure out. It would be great to talk to someone who understands this problem. Reach me at if you want to have a dialog. Thanks.


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