working things out slowly...

Still feeling a bit confused about the fatigue that I had on Wednesday of this week and on Saturday too, but I'm slowly working it out. If I'm understanding this right, then the things that are causing my symptoms to flare up are now causing them to flare up in a stronger way. This sounds bad but if it's correct, then actually it is good.

As I have said, I went almost 3 weeks without fatigue and have had a couple of days of it this week. On both days I think the thing that may have caused by fatigue is spending too much time on the computer. Pre RT this would have caused some fatigue, but it would not have been top of the list of things that set symptoms off. It seems now that as I have dissolved the chemical memories attached to physical activity, driving, socialising and loads of other stuff, the computer triggers stronger symptoms.

This is very odd and I'm having to get used to things having turned upside down. Yesterday I felt really fatigued, but I already had a night out planned to go and see a band. I did RT on my fatigue symptoms but didn't get a strong body response as to what action I should take. Because I had fatigue, I did feel apprehensive about going out, but I know that this is chemical memory stuff. So, despite feeling fatigued, I went, really enjoyed myself and even had a few beers and stayed out to 1am.

Pre RT, I would have been completely f**ked the next day. Today I had a bit of an alcohol hangover that began to lift as soon as I had my brekfast, but I felt better than I did all day yesterday. This evening I feel fine, a little bit tired, but no fatigue.

Basically if I'm correct, I need to work on the chemical memory associated with using the computer. I know what it is, but I think I've got into a habit of not being aware/ignoring my symptoms when they come on, whilst using the computer. With RT, when you get the symptom, you are supposed to stop immediately, but I know I don't do that when I'm on the computer. So stronger symptoms just means that I'm getting a clearer indication from my bodymind about what I need to sort out. I can cope with the odd day of fatigue from time to time, if the rest of the month I'm pretty symptom free and building up my stamina.