What they don't tell you in the books

I've been going on an RT support forum and having lots of really interesting conversations with other people going through the RT process. One thing that we have been discussing is something that they don't tell you in the books. Reverse Therapy is hard work!

As someone else on the site said, 'this is not for the faint hearted'. From the books, you kind of get the impression that you attend the sessions and then something magical happens and your hypothalamus switches off and you get well. What they don't tell you is that it is YOU who has to do the switching off, which can take a long time and can involve blazing battles between your headmind and your bodymind.

A lot of us on the forum are finding it difficult to 'trust' our bodyminds and feel a lot of fear around increasing activity. Sometimes your head can really get in the way, going on about how you are going to relapse if you try to do something. It's flippin hard work. Also, because you are paying much closer attention to your symptoms, there is pretty much a constant dialogue between your headmind and your bodymind, one trying to win out, which is tiring in itself. Its pretty scary taking these steps sometimes.

Then there is the physical tiredness that comes from increasing your activity. Pretty much every week, I am pushing my physical and mental boundaries, which means I am physically or mentally tired a lot of the time. I don't mean fatigued, just tired. Being in a constant state of tiredness is quite testing and sometimes you just want to stay still for a while and get on the level again. For me though, I think I'd rather be tired 2 or 3 days a week and crack on with my recovery not that I am pushing myself though. The tiredness feels like when you've done a hard days work, so I don't think its a bad thing and I generally feel greatly or completely refreshed from sleep, which I'm taking as a good sign. I also plan in chilled days too.

So maybe when you read the books, you thought it sounds like a fairy story, well the reality is different. The good thing about all this though, is it places your recovery firmly in your own hands, which I've always believed is the way forward for me.